Lifetime Network

I don't know why that this struck me as funny, but I read today that McCain is gaining ground over Obama in a Lifetime Network presidential poll (McCain 44, Obama 42). With all of the craziness that is going on now - and all that has gone on for the last 8 years or so - Lifetime seems like a representation of much simpler times. I am not even going to address the fact that Lifetime is a women's network, and that this means that women are impressed with Sarah Palin's non-feminist beliefs. No - let's not even look at that. That is much too depressing.

Also lets - for at least a moment - disregard the Iraq War, G.W. Bush, Karl Rove, bombing in Pakistan, terrorist attacks, and the collapse of the free and respected American economy. Lets instead think of 80s or early 90s Lifetime television. You know, the peaceful pastels of the Golden Girls living room. Nothing could go this bad if the Golden Girls are there. We could worry a little bit, talk about things, and have some cheesecake. Also - remember those Intimate Lifetime Portraits? You could spend a worry-free hour focusing on the biography of people such as - Valerie Harper, Sandy Duncan, or maybe the cast of the Facts of Life. The most stressful things on the Lifetime channel back in those glory days were the occasional Jacqueline Susan-type book adaptations. And of course we knew that even if Jaclyn Smith, Genie Francis, or Markie Post were in trouble, that all would work out in the end.

The late 90s political focus reminds me a little bit of a Lifetime Movie. I remember being upset and disappointed with Bill Clinton when the whole Monica Lewinsky ordeal came out. I was outraged with his behavior. Now, when thinking back, I think - who the hell cares. It meant absolutely nothing. He was a good president. The last 8 years have been a disgrace. The Lewinsky focus was the, "good old days."

I know, like Thomas Wolfe says, "you can't go home again." But it is nice, even if for a brief time, to imagine having a piece of cheesecake in a mauve oasis, while hearing about how things were, "back in St. Olaf."